Life Update

I read my old posts and realized how much I loved blogging and how I missed doing it 😂

I don’t know what was going on with me for the past couple of months without blogging, but safe to say, I was lazy 😅

While my kids are still sleeping, I’m going to blog a bit of updates about our lives. 

First, right now the kids and I are at husband’s hometown. We have been here since last week, and are going to be for another 3 weeks, I think. Two weeks for husband to complete his safety course in Selangor, plus one more week of holiday, then we will be back in Kuantan. 

The last time we were here (the kids and I) was around May-June (husband’s had a month-long course in Alor Setar) and it was HORRIBLE. The kids were clingy to me and miserable. But this time (knock on wood) they are okay, thank God. Better than last time, phew!

A bit of update about me: I lost some kgs after that terrible phase in May-June haha! So at least there is a good thing coming out of that stressing period – I lost weight! I bought a new jeans that fits me better, and although my body is still out of shape (flabby everywhere), at least I’m on the right weight haha 😁

Matilda is becoming more verbal. She can speak in sentences now although they come out wrong 😂 For example, instead of saying “I want to watch Tsum Tsum” or “I want nenen” or “I want Calciyum”, she will say “You wanna watch Tsum Tsum?”, “You wanna nenen?”, “You wanna Calciyum?” 😂😂😂 Because we always ask her whether she wants something/asking her questions, so she repeat those sentences back to us 😂 But it’s okay cos that’s a progress and improvement from before. Now we switch from saying “you” to her name so that she will repeat that instead. So from saying “You want nenen?” We say “Tilda want nenen?” Like that.

But there are still lots of thing she couldn’t say. She couldn’t answer if I ask her “What is your name?” But she could answer perfectly if I point to me, husband and her little sister. She could name us “mommy” “daddy” “Agunis”. It quite bothers me why she doesn’t know her own name. Recently I asked her back that question and she said that her name was “Chester” (her cousin whom I talked to her a lot).

Oh yeah, Matilda also can give excuses now! Although it’s just something as simple as one word: her sister’s name. Whenever I tell her I want to clean her ear or clip her nails, she will always say “Agunis” 😂 Meaning, she wants me to do her sister instead of her haha so cheeky 😂😂

My baby Agnes is going to turn 11 months next week 😢 One more month to a year old! How fast time flies, right? I’m a bit emotional when thinking about this. It feels like I had just given birth to her yesterday 😂 I thought I will feel like this only for my firstborn but noooooo it happens for every baby, you know 😅

Agnes is such a tiny, tiny thing no matter how much she eats! My concern about her is her weight, or the lack of gaining it 😭 At 10 months young, she is only about 7kg 😭😭 Dunno if it’s because of high metabolism or what, cos as far as I know, she eats fine. Everything about her is good except her weight gain. That being said, she is a pro at crawling, can cruise and stand with support. Can interact with people by giving and receiving things, can put things into a box or basket. Still has no teeth yet but they are coming soon, I guess, cos her gum is super swollen right now.

Okay, that’s about it. My eldest has woke up and my little one just finished nursing and seems to doze off to sleep again. Until next time 🖑

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Matilda’s Speech

Matilda is nearly three yet her speech is a bit worrying 😟

It’s not like she is entirely mute la. She totally can speak and even sing songs, but she doesn’t really…converse with us. If she wants something or tell us how she feels about something, she just gesture or sign. Just body language and lots of grunting or babbling.

I read it’s because she lacks attention from us and spends a lot of time in front of the TV or handphone watching cartoon. That’s why she doesn’t know how to communicate with people. I think it’s true 😔

So I quickly intervene before she gets worse. I started being annoying, meaning, I asked her questions A LOT and asked her to repeat after me. I forced her to tell me what she wants before I give her the thing. I think it has been weeks since I did that and she shows some improvements!

We are not conversing fully now like any adorable three year old with their moms on Youtube, but at least she could tell me a few things that she wants unlike before. First she get my attention by walking towards me and pulling my hand – she knows I’m Mommy but doesn’t call me that…yet – and when she starts pulling I asked her, “What you want?” Just recently she is able to reply me, for example, “Puzzle!” If she wants me to open or turn on something, she’ll point at it and say “Open/Turn on!”

I assume she doesn’t know what to ask or answer before that’s why she doesn’t reply us when we ask her 😂 But I taught her what to say if she wants something and so far she has learned it!

If she wants to watch her favourite cartoon, she’ll hand me the remote and say something like “Washi washi Mickey Mouse” but I know she really wants to say “Want to watch Mickey Mouse” haha 😂😂 Only a mom understands their child’s speech. Some of her words are not perfect yet but what matters most is progress, right?

Don’t Need New Pants Hahah

Jealousy is good when used in a positive manner. In my case, it is a good motivator!

Earlier I blogged about how jealous I felt upon seeing a friend who slimmed down drastically after giving birth and my frustration towards my stagnant weight. Guess what? This week I did a little change in my diet and by the end of it, I finally could wear my old pants!

Even though I could barely fit (tight as sarung nangka 😂) but the feeling of fitting in my old pants, my pre-pregnancy pants is just so thrilling! I can finally say bye-bye to my maternity pants for good….for now 😅

So what did I do? It is not a big change but still could produce results and that’s what I want. I just reduce my coffee/sweet drinks intake to twice a day (before, I drink as much as I want) and control my carb intake. I just eat as usual but I don’t take seconds. If I really want to eat somemore I just eat lauk and drink lots of water after that to keep me full. I did snack in between meals but all I eat is just lactation cookies or brownies with water. 

My milk supply fluctuated a bit at the start of this new diet – maybe because I eat a bit less or maybe because I drink green tea (milk killer?) but I just persevered and a few days later, my supply returned to normal. But I also stop drinking green tea 😞 I’m afraid that my supply will not return to normal if I keep drinking.

I did take a few supplements to help with weight loss; Shaklee Omegaguard to help burn calories faster and VCO to flush it out because I was a bit constipated ever since I give birth.

So yeah, I managed to lose some weight faster with a little change and I hope I could maintain this! I would love to lose 2-3kg more so that my pants would fit comfortably but I am pleased enough as of now 😁

Can Someone Explain?

I have a friend. We are of the same age. We got pregnant about the same time last year, and gave birth around the same time, too. Only a week apart. 

It was her first child and it was second for me. She had a boy though, and mine was a girl.

I met her last weekend and I was shocked to see her appearance. She was skinny!

She was more of a curvier type of woman before – always has been her entire life I think – and she had never been this skinny even when she was going to get married. But how did she get so skinny after giving birth! It was mind bogling for me.

I could no longer use “age” and “slow metabolism” as an excuse to why I haven’t been able to lose weight after having my second. I figure it is hard to lose weight when you are over 30 because your metabolism has slowed down, but alas, such case did not apply on my friend.

Was I jealous? Oh yes! 

She is also a stay-at-home-mom like me and lives away from her family and friends because her husband works in Putrajaya. I guess her routine is pretty much the same as me. I don’t know if she is on a diet and workout as well but from the look of it, she is living the same lifestyle as me.

But I can’t figure out how she lost all those kgs she gained and then some just from taking care of a baby, breastfeeding and doing housechores!

I’m breastfeeding too but why I still can’t manage to lose weight? My weight has been stagnant for months now. I’m stuck at the same number. I’M supposed to lose weight faster because I have not one but TWO critters to take care of. 

Is it because my body has carried a baby twice so my metabolism and everything that’s essential to lose weight have gone haywire? Is it because my hips have delivered two children they are spread apart so much that I couldn’t fit into my old jeans back? Is there a difference in a woman’s body according to how many children you have? Say I have my third child when I’m 35, will someone aged 35 lose weight faster than me after giving birth with their first child, while I lose weight slower because it is my third child?

Dunno why I get so worked up about this. Maybe because I am forever feeling frustrated with my non-existent weight loss and this ill-feeling towards my friend 😣

Disappointed

Can I be brutally honest? 

Sometimes I feel like my kids are such disappointments.

Can’t help feeling that way when I try so hard to do something for them. For example, teaching and encouraging M to talk. I asked her to repeat what I say but she just shrugged, refused or said something else 😬

I try so hard but see no results.

Like all my efforts going down to the drain.

Baby also disappointed me when she doesn’t want to nurse when I have so much milk! Her refusal led to supply drop and I have to nurse her much frequently to build the supply back.

Am I horrible to feel something like this? I just can’t help the feeling.

Or maybe I’m at fault for them to be like this.

Progress

I’m not losing weight as fast as I wanted but looking from the photos taken all 4 months postpartum, I did lose weight.

This is embarrassing but this is how I looked at the final weeks of my pregnancy. I was either 39 or 40 weeks – just counting the days to give birth. Really swollen and fat from all the weight I gained. I hated taking pictures during that time but I just took this single photo as…I dunno…reminder, I guess. I totally lost my jawline – even my mom noticed that and pointed that out – I was really round!

This was around Christmas. I think I was about 1.5 months postpartum. I lost weight quicker when I’m all alone at home managing 2 kids while on confinement diet which was nothing but soup and rice. At this time, I was feeling better about myself and thought I could celebrate Christmas not looking like a whale haha

This is my recent pic. Four months postpartum. I got my jawline back!

Better angle.

Even better angle 😅

My current weight is not consistent but safe to say I was 3kg to my pre-pregnancy weight. I’ll be happy if I just lose the 3kg but my goal is to lose 5kg so that I’ll fit my old clothes better. I still haven’t been able to fit my jeans and that frustrated me a lot. With my first, I was able to at 3 months postpartum ok 😅

I don’t know what I do differently this time. To be honest, I should be losing weight faster la because basically I’m working out all the time managing 2 kids and housechores. I eat like a normal person, didn’t take seconds and snack only occassionally. I’m also exclusively breastfeeding. But the weight still drop very slowly aaaaa 😣

Slow metabolism due to age, I guess. Getting old.

It’s Here!

I finally made up my mind and decided to spend a large sum of money on a diaper bag 😂

But whatever. It makes me happy!

I actually found a very good deal on a BNWT (brand new with tag) Jujube BRB (Be Right Back) in the Hello Kitty Out to Sea print but it is too girly for my husband to carry it. Luckily I didn’t back out from the purchase and asked the seller instead if she has any BRB to let go. I don’t mind a used bag as long as it is EUC (excellent used condition). She has a few more BNWT BRB and from the few I selected The Navigator print. 

Which matches my Be Quick! 😆

I’m so thankful that H didn’t scold me or anything for buying an expensive bag. In the end, he agreed that the BRB is a good bag because it is so spacious and suitable to carry items for two kids. All these while we only used a laptop bag which is not very practical 😂😂

Anyway, I’m happy to own a Jujube bag and I guess once you own a Jujube, you will be addicted 😅

I’m keeping a close eye on the BST page on any good deal on Jujube items. I really want to own something from Tokidoki prints. The obsession continues 😅

It’s so gorgeous! Now whenever I feel sad or down, I just look at my bag and my mood will constantly lifted 😅

One this off my wishlist!